Tag Archive | "how to talk to a girl"

Women to Be Wary Of…

mack tacticsWhen you meet a girl for the first time, you’re not meeting the real her. You’re meeting her representative, the image she tries to project to men she doesn’t know. Females put up fronts for any number of reasons (just as men do), whether it’s due to vanity, insecurity, shyness, or because they don’t want to reveal their attraction to you.

Using Conversation Control techniques (such as Hypotheticals) is how you get them to open up and reveal their true nature, which then enables you to bond with them.

As a Mack, you want to cut through the facade and get to know “the real her” as soon as possible. Before you invest a significant amount of time in her, you must determine whether she’s going to be worth your efforts. The Mack doesn’t hesitate to make a polite exit if he’s knows he’s not going to mesh with a particular woman. You must maintain the attitude that your options are limitless. For Macks, they truly are.

In this article, we’ll identify certain categories of problematic women. Each gives off warning signals, or “red flags,” which you need to be able to pickup on. Just because a woman falls under one of the following categories doesn’t mean you should kick her to the curb. Some of these women may be fine for one-night stands or casual relationships, or as a friend to accompany you when you go out. But definitely think twice before making any type of commitment.

The Money Chick. The signals are usually clear: the designer outfits, the jewelry, the hot (often surgically enhanced) body she loves to show off. She acts like she’s above every guy in the room, but wants to be the center of attention.

The Money Chick wants men who will treat her to the finer things. If you’re not prepared to drop serious loot, she’s not interested. Even if you do write her the proverbial “blank check,” she might still entertain offers from other guys who are down to spend cash on her. As long as she looks as good as she does, there will never be any shortage of guys willing to do so.

You can bust out special Hypotheticals to see how money-oriented she is. Tell her a story along these lines:

YOU (as you check your cell phone): “My friend Mike keeps texting me. He’s been totally depressed all day.”

HER: “Why?”

YOU: “He had a date last night with a girl. But when he showed up at her house to take her to dinner, she took one look at the car he was driving and said ‘on second thought, maybe this isn’t such a good idea.’ She dissed him because he drives a beat-up car.”

One Night Stand Chick. She’s a bad girl and wants you to know it. She makes sexual references even though she just met you. She makes frequent physical contact: touching you, brushing up against you, grinding on the dance floor. It seems like she’s good to go, but realize that if you don’t seal the deal with her tonight, some other guy will.

mack tacticsWith girls like these, you rarely get a second chance. If you don’t hook up with her that night, don’t think that getting her phone number and setting up a date for the near future is going to lead anywhere. When you call her, it’s likely that she won’t even remember who you are. These women are spontaneous and live in the moment. When she’s giving you the signals, the moment to capitalize is right then.

Rebound Chick. This type of female is still bruised from a relationship gone bad. Maybe the breakup occurred a week ago, or perhaps it happened years ago and she still can’t get over the guy. In any event, you’re dealing with wreckage that another man left behind. Refer to the “Ex Factor” article for specific techniques on how to set her mind straight and refocus it on you.

Just remember to be cautious. Listen sympathetically while gathering Intell. But once she’s told you the whole sad story, end that topic of discussion.

The longer you let her go on about her romantic problems, the more likely she’ll start viewing you as a “good friend” rather than a romantic partner. Once she mentally places you in that “Friend Box,” that’s where you will remain.

Drama Queen, every minor problem is a crisis. Her problems become your headaches. She has a complaint about everything and thinks everyone is trying to screw her over or stab her in the back but of course, nothing is ever her fault. She pays little attention to anyone else’s problems, including yours, but wants everyone to know about hers.

We have a rule of thumb: if we hears three different complaints from a woman within ten minutes of meeting her, we tag her as a Drama Queen and politely excuse ourselves. There’s a big difference between being a sympathetic listener and letting a woman dump her problems and drama on you, especially if she barely knows you. This type of personality is extremely difficult to deal with long-term. There will always be something new for her to complain about.

Man Haters are females that have been mistreated by men throughout their lives, probably beginning with their father. During the course of your conversation, she makes statements like “All men are dogs” or “Guys only care about one thing.” She has serious issues with men and does not trust them. Don’t argue with the Man Hater. And don’t ever give her the sense that you’re putting the moves on her, since this will only confirm her beliefs.

Consumers are females who are always asking for things but don’t reciprocate. They’re almost like low-budget Money Chicks, the difference being that Money Chicks go for much bigger scores. (They want the diamonds and the Benz, not lunch and a movie.)

When the Consumer says “thanks,” there’s usually no real gratitude behind it. She expects these things, and she typically dates weak men who tolerate this behavior. A lot of men are willing to fork over the cash because they don’t want to look cheap. But the Mack knows that the amount you spend has nothing to do with it. It’s about respect. Making constant demands on your time and wallet is a form of disrespect that the Mack does not tolerate.

 

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Advanced Mack Maneuver: “The Walk Away”

mack tacticsIn a busy bar or nightclub, the hot chick never has any shortage of guys willing to step up and take a shot at her. She expects men to jump at the opportunity to buy her a drink and talk to her.

She’s essentially giving them the chance to “audition” for her, a role which the average guy eagerly accepts. In this type of environment, the advanced Mack may take an opposite approach. Instead of trying to engage her in a conversation right off the bat, he’ll introduce himself, get a positive reaction, then excuse himself and walk away.

This knocks her for a loop and leaves her wondering. It also sets the stage for a second encounter later in the evening.

It’s simple but effective. Make a quick intro and pay her on a compliment on her fashion sense: “Hello, my name is Dean. I just wanted to tell you, I love that outfit you’ve got on. You’ve got great style.”

When she says “thank you,” she’s expecting you to initiate a conversation or offer to buy her a drink. Instead, say “You have a good time tonight, just don’t get too crazy, alright?” Then give her a smile and walk away.

This will get a smile out of the girl, and although you’re saying it in an amusing way you’re also making an important point. You’re showing her that you are somebody. You know the people who run this place, and they know you and when you’re with a woman here, she is “protected.”

Now, when you walk away, the girl is flattered and a little bit confused. Now there’s a confident guy, she thinks; he paid her a compliment, captured her interest, then went back to doing his own thing. Obviously this is not a guy who is lacking for female company.

But you intend to encounter her again. Perhaps an hour later you see her going to the ladies’ roomand you move to that area of the club so that you can catch her eye as she comes out. Then you reference the earlier encounter: “Hey, it’s the most stylish girl in the club.”

This time, instead of walking away, you start conversing with her. The ice has already been broken, and you’ve established that you’re not another overeager guying trying to pick her up.

This second time around, she might even feel flattered that you’re taking the time to talk to her. After all, she believes you’re a guy who must have other options and plenty of people to spend time besides her.

If you’re feeling especially confident and sense that she’s into you, drop this funny little gem, delivered with a smile: “I wasn’t trying to pick you up before, but I am now. Let’s go get a drink.” You can’t put a price tag on a line like that.

 

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Best Places To Find Hot Women

mack tacticsAfter dark is when most guys attempt to meet women, with nightclubs and bars being the most obvious “pick up” environments. (For many men, these are the only environments where they’ll attempt to mack since it allows them to gulp down some “liquid courage.”)

While the hot clubs in your town might contain their share of stunners, they can also be challenging environments. Competition is in the air. Wolves are everywhere, all prowling for the same limited pool of attractive women. Beyond the testosterone overload, you’ve got to deal with other factors such as the money you’ve got to spend on drinks; smoke; and loud music.

But the toughest obstacle you face in a nightclub is the attitude women adopt in these environments. They’re on guard, like airport metal detectors cranked up to high alert. Sometimes it’s difficult to initiate a casual, friendly conversation, because in this environment women will often automatically assume that you’re just trying to hook up.

On top of this, she’s probably there with friends who tend to interrupt (especially the jealous unattractive ones), and may drag her away to the bathroom just when you’re starting to make progress.

Using M.A.C.K. Tactics, you can totally succeed with women in nightclubs, but when it comes to picking target-rich environments you need to think beyond the obvious places.

When initiating conversations with women in these various environments, you’ll want to use the three-point intro, then approach, offer your hand, and introduce yourself by name. To give it a more natural flow, it often helps to lead off with a prefacing statement or question based on the environment you are in.

Target Rich Environments

 

Here are some examples of things you might say in certain environments. As you continue taking “batting practice” and introducing yourself to various women, you’ll come up with your own. Whenever the woman responds in a friendly manner, introduce yourself and go from there. Note that asking a woman for some advice is often a good way to go.

Girl in book store. Note the book she’s looking at. Ask her if she’s read other books by that author, or on that subject, i.e. “I’ve been meaning to pickup some books on psychology, I’ve always found that topic really interesting.” You might add, “I took a course on it in college.”

Girl at the supermarket. A huge number of “missed opportunities” occur at these places. These are excellent places to meet women for a lot of different reasons.

Girl in clothing store. If she’s browsing in the men’s section, don’t bother(unless she makes friendly eye contact with you); she’s probably shopping for her husband or boyfriend. If she’s shopping in the women’s section, pick out a female clothing item and say “Excuse me, could I ask your opinion on something?” If she’s OK with that, show her the item and explain that you’re shopping for a gift for a friend. What does she think? Does she have any other suggestions? You can throw in, “I like the way you dress, I thought you’d be a good person to ask.” After she tells you her opinion, do the three-point intro and take the conversation from there.

Video Stores. Cruise over to the video store to rent some DVDs, and you can make it a” Blockbuster Night” in more ways than one. If you see a cute unaccompanied girl looking for movies to rent, wait until she picks up a DVD and begins to read the description on the back. (Obviously this means she hasn’t seen this movie yet.)

Pet Shops. These shops are another potential bonanza when it comes to macking women. It’s no secret that women LOVE animals and can talk about them endlessly. Trust us, if you make it a routine to swing through the puppy area in your local pet store, you’re going to have plenty of chances to talk to single women. Even more importantly, these women will be in the perfect state of mind happy, relaxed and feeling affectionate for you to get in the door with them.

mack tacticsRemember that you have an entire world of opportunities in front of you. You’re encountering attractive women every day as you go about your daily routine, but chances are you haven’t been capitalizing.

In reality, thousands of golden opportunities to meet and date beautiful girls have already slipped through your fingers, either because you failed to notice them, or because you felt it wouldn’t be “appropriate” for you to approach them.

Meanwhile, the Mocks are out there striking up conversations with new girls every day, whether it’s at the gym, the mall, the bookstore or the park.

In reality, there are few environments where a single girl will feel it’s “inappropriate” for you to start a friendly conversation with them. (Funerals and STD clinics would definitely fall under this category.)

As long as you engage them in a casual, friendly manner and use a creative angle to open the conversation, you can meet women practically anywhere and you’ll often get better results than you would trying to holler over the music at a crowded nightclub, while five other guys are waiting for the chance to hit on her.

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Getting A One Night Stand

mack tacticsIf she’s up for a one night stand, and things appear to be heading towards sex, most women still don’t want to feel like it’s going to be a one-night stand.

Women have been raised to believe that casual sex (sex with someone you’re not dating or married to) is wrong and slutty.

While a lot of women do it, they don’t always feel good about it afterwards.

One way to cushion this is to establish a “next meeting” during your conversation with her: the idea that regardless of how tonight winds up, the two of you will meet again soon.

She may be thinking the same thing you are we’re probably going to have sex tonight, with no strings attached but the idea of a “next meeting” may help put her mind at ease.

It’s easy to do. During your chat, mention a movie that’s in theatres right now. Tell her a little bit about the movie, get her interested in it, then say “we’ll go see it one of these nights.” Or, mention a restaurant you like and say “we should go sometime.” Then move on to another subject. You’re not setting up an actual date; you’re planting the seed that you would be open to seeing her tonight.

Some women might ask you point-blank, “Is this just going to be a one-night thing?” Here’s a Tactical reply: “A couple of years ago, my answer might have been yes. But that’s not what I’m into now. I think we might have something good here, and I’d like to go with it and see what happens.”

With this answer, you’re not making any promises. You’re just going with the flow and encouraging her to do the same. It’s too early to know if this is going to turn into anything serious. And that’s the right thing that a real Mack should do to get a one night stand with a hot girl.

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Taking A Girl To A Neutral Corner

mack tacticsWith a girl you’ve met that evening let’s say at a nightclub or party you’re better off taking her somewhere “neutral” before trying to bring her back to your place. If possible, suggest going for some coffee, a bite to eat, or taking a walk outside.

Adding this additional step creates the sense that the two of you are on a date, even if you just met an hour ago. It also makes her feel more secure. You’re not rushing things; you’re letting the evening unfold at its own pace. This is an important concept in M.A.C.K. Tactics.

Just remember that women know the deal just as well as you do. Don’t feel embarrassed about your intentions. You’re both adults.

She knows that you’re a heterosexual man and your end goal lies in the bedroom. If you’ve laid the necessary groundwork, then she’ll be looking forward to it, too. Perhaps not on the first night, but that door will eventually open.

She should feel that she has nothing to worry about with you. For this reason, you should always take her back to your place instead of trying to go to hers. For a lot of women, bringing a guy home is a big deal. It means you know where she lives, and she might not be comfortable with that until she knows you better. Or, she may have roommates or neighbors who might gossip about her bringing a guy home. She’s much more likely to accept an invitation to go to your place than she is to invite you to hers.

If you don’t live in a place that you can bring girls home to, then as a Mack you need to fix this ASAP. In order to be an effective Mack, you must have a home base where you can host women.

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Talking Dirty With Women

mack tacticsSome guys think it’s OK to talk about sex with girls they’ve just met. They steer the conversation towards sex, or make sexual comments in an attempt to be funny and “spice up” the convo. Other guys think that talking about sex implies they have a lot of experience in the bedroom, and that women will find this alluring.

Women are generally not interested or impressed by this type of talk. More likely, they’ll think it’s crude and juvenile. (Besides, guys who hook up on a regular basis don’t need to talk about it.)

But you can get her mind on sensual, erotic thoughts. The key is to do it in a clever, “invisible” way. As the conversation progresses, test the waters to see how receptive she is to talking about sexual topics. Scan the room: do you see any couples kissing or dirty dancing? If so, direct her attention to the couple and ask her with a smile, “What do you think about them doing that in a public place?”

When Girls Uses Baiting Questions

If she has no problem with it or even better, is intrigued by it then the door is open for you to touch on other sexual topics. Roll with it. Here are a couple of ways to inject sexuality into the convo:

•     Ask her how she defines the word “sexy.” After she answers, tell her that in your opinion, sexiness isn’t about how someone looks on the surface it’s about confidence and attitude. Women like this answer.

Few women are totally confident in their appearance, but all women like to believe they have confidence and a good attitude.

•     Ask her what she thinks is the sexiest part of her body. After she answers, tell her that you did notice that that part of her, but there is another body part that you find most appealing. This could be her eyes, teeth, hair, neck, her soft hands…there is no standard answer, though you should obviously not mention her breasts or butt. This type of unexpected compliment should flatter her, and show her that you find beauty in women for many different reasons.

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Establishing Body Contact With Girls

mack tacticsYou already know the importance of smiling and maintaining eye contact during conversation. Body contact is how you accelerate the encounter and move towards Closing the Deal.

The first step is closing the physical gap between you. If you’re chatting with her at a bar, move closer to her and angle your body so that you’re “shielding” her from the other men in the area. If you’re sitting with her in a booth, scoot in closer so that your leg is touching against hers. If it’s a loud environment, speak closely to her ear and have her speak into yours.

Wait at least ten minutes into a solid, fun conversation to see if she makes body contact with you. Often times, a woman will make body contact subconsciously if she is interested in you. Remember that even the most subtle, innocent-seeming touch sends a signal.

For instance, while she’s laughing, she may reach over and squeeze your arm.

Or, she might touch your hand while she’s making a point about something. Read these signals. A woman who is uninterested will avoid all body contact, while an interested woman will be comfortable making light contact. Watch for cues; she’ll give them to you.

Also notice her body language. As you converse, is she leaning towards you, like she’s interested in every word you say? Or, is she keeping her distance? If she’s sitting down, check her legs; they contain the most powerful muscles in the body. The way her legs are crossed is a gauge of her comfort level. Are they in a protective, businesslike position, literally blocking her private parts? Are her arms folded across the chest, meaning she’s shielding her breasts…and her heart?

If her body language is closed and defensive, don’t worry. Some women are naturally on guard. It means you need to keep building the bridge of trust, knock down those barriers, and get her to loosen up.

mack tacticsIf she’s acting or looking tense, make a playful comment about it. She might not even realize she’s giving off these vibes. When you mention it, she’ll switch to a more relaxed posture if she is interested in you. If she stays in a defensive posture, you know you’ll have to work your Tactics harder than usual. At a certain point, if she simply will not let down her guard, you’ll want to consider cutting your losses, politely excusing yourself, and meeting someone more deserving of your time.

If ten minutes pass and she hasn’t made any physical contact with you whatsoever but you feel the encounter has potential it’s time for you to take the lead and make the initial contact. The simplest way to do this is to reach over and lightly touch her forearm. Do it in mid-sentence, as if to emphasize what you’re saying. Don’t let the touch linger too long; simply establish that first contact. It opens an important subliminal door.

Most men don’t take the time to build physical connections. Instead of dancing with women, they try to grind on them like a dog in heat.

Instead of giving a soft goodnight kiss, they want to stick their tongue in her mouth. By establishing gentle body contact, you’re giving her the chance to grow accustomed to your touch and feel comfortable with it. More intimate touching can follow. Take it in steps.

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When You Call Her…

mack tacticsThe key is to call her with a purpose. If your goal is to set up a date, have a plan mapped out before you pick up the phone. When you met her, you should have learned what her schedule is like. Does she work nights? Is she free on the weekends? Does she enjoy going out for drinks or coffee at a particular place? Is she a night owl, or does she prefer daytime activities?

If you applied proper Conversation Control, you already know the answers to these questions before you make the phone call. You’re now going to chat, get to know her a little more, and then suggest a time and a place to get together that should work for her.

If she doesn’t answer, never hang up. Always leave a message. Assume she has caller ID; you don’t want it to look like you chickened out. Then, when you leave the message, sound energized and confident: “Hi Michelle, this is John, we met a couple of nights ago. I’m going to a couple of interesting things later in the week that I wanted to let you know about.”

What are the “interesting things” you are referring to? It’s the place, or places, that you were planning on inviting her to for your first date. (We’ll explain in a moment why it’s important to extend invitations, rather than asking her out in the conventional way.)

If she answers, view this first phone conversation with her as a “mini date.” You’re not calling her to engage in random chit-chat. You are executing a plan.

mack tacticsNever ask “Am I catching you at a bad time?” or “Can you talk?” This sounds nervous and apologetic. Play it like you know she’s been waiting for your call. If it’s not a good time for her to talk, she’ll tell you.

Keep the conversation light. Ask her simple questions that prompt her total: “How’s your day been going?” Keep your responses brief and don’t volunteer any information about yourself that she doesn’t already know. Wait until you see her again to get more in-depth.

Another hostage negotiation technique to use in this scenario: the Negotiator will remind the hostage taker of things he said in order to show that he was listening.

This strengthens their bond. (“I remember you mentioned you had a daughter. How old is she?” or “I remember you said you were hungry. I can see about helping you with that.”

On the phone with her, you can say “I remember you said you worked at the mall. Was it busy today?” or “You mentioned you were looking for an apartment. Have you made any progress with that?” It’s a way to keep the conversation flowing, while showing that you were listening to the things she said. Most guys have a terrible memory when it comes to these little details.

After chatting for a short period (five minutes or less), it’s time to arrange plans with her. You’re going to use the Intell you have gathered to suggest a specific time and place to meet. This will be an invitation to join you for an activity that you already had “planned.”

Wack Tactic: “So maybe one of these nights when you’re not busy, we could do something.”

Wack Tactic: “If you don’t have plans Saturday night, I was thinking we could have dinner somewhere.”

Mack Tactic #1: “So Michelle, I remember you said you were off on Saturdays and you like Italian food. I’ve been meaning to check out this Italian restaurant I’ve heard great things about, why don’t we go together.”

Mack Tactic #2: “I’m going to check out this cool jazz cafe on Thursday night. I remember you said that’s your night off and you love jazz. Why don’t we go together.”

mack tacticsNotice the phrasing: you are planning to visit this spot with or without her. (It could be an art gallery, a café, a cocktail lounge wherever you want to take her.)

The message you’re sending is that you already have plans in motion and you’re extending an offer for her to join you.

This approach should give you complete confidence. If she declines for any reason, there’s no need for you to feel awkward; you were going to go anyway, right?

Something else to bear in mind: if you met her in a nightclub or at a party, any environment where it’s loud and the alcohol is flowing, you might not be certain this is a woman you want to take out on a date.

This phone chat is then a chance for you to feel her out a little more and make that determination.

If you weren’t able to gather certain bits of important Intell her schedule, her interests, etc. you can gain the answers during this phone call. Ideally, however, you should have gathered this Intell when you first met her.

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More Phone Fundamentals

“What’s your bedtime? I wouldn’t want to wake you up.”

mack tacticsWhen you’re out on a date, shut your phone off or keep it on vibrate. Only wanna-be Macks take calls when they’re with a woman, believing that it makes them look important.

In reality, important people can’t be bothered every time someone calls them to chat.

Plus, if you’re receiving calls and text messages during a date, the first thing your date will assume is that you’re a player who is juggling multiple women. Not good.

If you absolutely must answer your phone (or send a text message) when you’re out on a date, be polite and apologetic: “Do you mind if I answer this? It’s an important call.”

She’ll say yes, go ahead. Keep the call short and businesslike, then focus your full attention back on her. Make her feel like your priority.

Only take phone calls from women when you’re in the right frame of mind to talk. If you’re stressed out or in a bad mood, or in an environment that makes it difficult to converse, don’t answer. Call her back when you’re ready to do so. You will always have the opportunity to speak with her again. It’s always better to ignore the call than to give off negative energy, or make her feel like she’s less important than whatever you’re doing at the moment.

If the date you set up with her is more than three days away, call her once more between now and then. The purpose of this phone call is simply to confirm your plans; women sometimes get flighty and forget.

If you begin dating a woman, it’s perfectly OK to speak with her on the phone on a daily basis. If you enjoy talking to her every day, great. You can increase the length of your phone chats but don’t always be the one calling her. If you call her two days in a row, end the second call by saying “give me a ring tomorrow when you have time,” or “call me tomorrow when you’re done with work.” Make her put forth effort. It’s also a way to gauge her interest level in you.

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If She Calls You…

mack tacticsIf you exchange numbers and she calls you first, it’s an excellent sign. But again, don’t make yourself available for a long chat. The message you want to send is that you were i in the middle of something, but you’re willing to set aside a few minutes for her. This tactic is one of the proven  M.A.C.K. strategies that you can definitely add to your arsenal.

When she asks what you’re up to, don’t say “nothing.” Tell her you’re finishing up some work, getting ready to go out, cooking dinner something that suggests you’re engaged in an activity but will put it aside to give her your attention.

Also, if she is the one calling you, don’t attempt to set up a date. You don’t want her to think you’re in a hurry to see her again, or that you’ve been waiting for her call to ask her out. Just chat with her. Once it’s been five minutes, tell her you’ve got something you need to take care of. Ask her “When is a good time for me to call you tomorrow?”

You will be prepared to make this call, with a specific date plan in mind, and this is when you will invite her out. It’s important to lock down the time when you will call her. By asking her “when is a good time,” and calling her then, you’ll and avoid having to leave messages and playing phone tag.

Calling a girl and accidentally waking her up, or someone she lives with, is an awkward situation. You can put a cute little twist on it by asking, “What’s your bedtime? I wouldn’t want to wake you up.”

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