Competence is merely a form of secure knowledge.

When you have secure knowledge in something, you are comfortable doing it.

Competence is the foundation from which you base all your actions off of.

In order to achieve the Competence necessary to overcome both barriers to approaching, you have to know what you’re going to say before you approach.

Having a number of Openers memorized gives you a “toolbox” with which to work with.

One that will insure you’re never at a loss for words.

Knowing what to say is important because it gives you a way to break out of your Comfort Zone. Being naturally lazy, you don’t want to have to think up something to say when you see a pretty girl.

But if you have some Openers memorized, you don’t have to think of something to say. You already know it.

This gives you the excuse you need to break out of your Comfort Zone.  The second thing you need to overcome these barriers is Detachment from Outcome.

You need to be able to disassociate yourself from the possibility of success, to the point where you do not care about the outcome of the interaction.  This is an important part of overcoming your Fear of Loss.

It’s a little bit of a Zen-like philosophy where you must free yourself from all attachment you naturally associate to a woman. You free yourself from your Fear of Loss because you automatically disqualify her.

The Art Of Flirting

You leave the possibility to have sex with the woman you desire there, but your goal changes so that this possibility is not the desired outcome of the interaction, and you therefore are not concerned about losing it.

The only time we really realize we’re flirting is when it’s not working, or something goes wrong – be it by flirting with the wrong person, or doing so at an inappropriate time and place.

For instance, you ever meet a girl who was cute, fun, bubbly, and seemed to really enjoy your company?

She’d laugh at your jokes, smile at you all the time, and do all sorts of activities with you? Like any guy, you’d think to yourself “Wow! This girl really likes me! She’s totally into me!” But then when you go to kiss her or express your interest, she acts surprised that you mistook your “friendship” with her as signs she was “interested” with you.

Often times, we can mistake a woman’s friendliness as being flirtatious, and a woman’s flirting as her being just friendly (or you might not notice her flirting at all!).

Because of this, pretty much every man on the planet has had a few embarrassing moments in regards to “misreading” the situation.

Now, if flirting is supposed to be natural, then why is it so hard to do? Why do we misread the situations so often and have to endure these embarrassing moments?

The short answer to this is: society.

Somewhere along the way, in your life, restrictions were imposed on your natural instincts that hinder your ability to either flirt, read the signs of others flirting with you, or both.

Maybe your parent’s scolded you when you were younger, or you got some bad advice growing up.

Whatever it was, some wires got crossed that made flirting harder for you than nature intended.

With that in mind, this article is meant to go in depth into the Art of Flirting in an attempt to help fix whatever damage you’ve sustained when it comes to the natural human mating ritual.

I’m eager to bet that there has been a time in every man’s life where he has been frightened to come near someone he’s found good-looking.

And because this is such a common occurrence, many men have come to the conclusion that approaching women is tough, nerve-racking, and at worst, downright scary.

This is such a prevalent feeling among men, we all understand it when guys decide not to approach a woman they like.

We just nod our heads and mutter “You’re better off without her,” or “She wasn’t really your type anyway,” or the patented “There’s plenty of fish in the sea, bro.”

But like it or not, this fear of approaching is a rather irrational one. People are social creatures, and need human interaction to survive.

However, despite this, most people fear public speaking more than death, and would rather stand in a corner quietly drinking than interact with others at a party.

And when asked, they will almost always respond “I’m afraid of failure,” or “I’m afraid of rejection.” But no matter how they respond, they will always blame it on one thing: Being afraid. So where does this fear come from?

First of all, I’d argue that it is not always fear that hinders men from approaching women. Rather, I’d say its laziness. Sir Isaac Newton had a theory, and that theory went something like this:

“Objects in motion stay in motion. Objects at rest, stay at rest.”

When you’re not approaching someone with the intent of befriending them or picking them up, even when you WANT to, you are in a state of “rest.” This is a state where you’ve established what I like to call a “comfort zone.”

This is a place where you feel safe. Secure. Comfortable. In this zone, you know what to expect, and therefore don’t have to worry about feeling afraid.

And more often than not, you won’t want to leave your comfort zone, because approaching someone introduces the prospect of uncertainty into your life.

It takes EFFORT to get out of your comfort zone, and most of the time, people prefer to be lazy and stay comfortable, rather than do the work it takes to meet their goals.

This comfort zone can be the bane of your social existence. And this is the first barrier you have to approaching a woman you desire.

But there is a second barrier that exists, and this is often the hardest one to overcome. Even those who do the work to leave their comfort zone must face this barrier before they can proceed.

This barrier is what causes your stomach to tighten and contract. It’s what causes your heart to beat faster. It’s what causes you to break into a cold sweat and your palms to go clammy.

Approaching Women

It’s fear. But it’s not the type of fear you might think. Many guys will site their “fear of rejection” as the thing that hinders them from approaching women, but I disagree with this.

Now, this is my theory, and you have every right to disagree with this theory because I have no scientific evidence to back it up. But this is what I think most guys suffer from:

Fear of Loss. I know it sounds crazy, especially considering you don’t have the woman you want yet, so how can you lose her?

When you see a girl you’re attracted to, that you KNOW you want to have sex with, what happens? Do you get that funny feeling down below, like when you used to climb the rope in gym class? Do you imagine holding her in your arms, making sweet monkey love all night long? Do you fantasize about how her breasts feel or how her lips taste? Or do you just know that “Girl give you raging BO-NAR!”?

Call it desire, call it lust, call it whatever you want. But you have to admit one thing to yourself: You wanna tap that ass.

And this is where the barrier exists. It’s this intense desire for that woman you find attractive that hinders you from meeting her.

It’s that incredible urge to fuck her, that overwhelming sense of “want.” You simply WANT that girl — especially if you’re coming from a place of need. The fewer women you have in your life, the stronger this feeling becomes.

It’s this desire that overtakes you and short circuits your brain. It’s this desire that keeps you from thinking of clever things to say. And it’s this desire that creates that fear of loss.

Desire creates an intense WANT of that woman. And where there’s an intense WANT, there’s also an intense desire not to LOSE what you want! Am I right?

That is why you censor yourself around attractive women. You keep quiet, because you don’t want to mess up your “chances.” You don’t want to do anything that may screw up the possibility that you can GET what you WANT.

And when you DO take action to get that woman you so desire, you take a chance that you could LOSE that woman you want so badly.

That is where the fear comes from. Not really from rejection, we have too much rejection in our lives to be bothered by it. Not really from failure either, because we fail at stuff every day.

But when we LOSE something, something is taken away from us, and we experience a type of emptiness that is incredibly HARD to cope with. That is why I think most men suffer from a Fear of Loss.

So when we break this down, here are the two barriers that keep men from approaching: Comfort Zone and Fear of Loss

If you want to get over your fear of the approach, you are going to have to learn to overcome these two barriers on a regular and consistent basis.

The idea that everyone sees you in the way you see yourself can be disturbing, especially if you are self critical to the extreme.

It’s enough to make you want to lock yourself away from the outside world and live as a loner for the rest of your life, solitary and alone.

But there’s a problem with that plan: We are never alone.

We are always involved in a incessant conversation with ourselves in our mind.

A dialogue about what we can do, what we should risk, and what we must avoid.

Our brain is continuously reminding us about the kind of person we THINK we are. No matter where we are or what we’re doing, our brain is always there to call up everything that’s wrong with us.

This could be triggered by looking in the mirror, interacting with other people, or thinking about a particular problem.

But no matter what triggers these thoughts, they can all be boiled down to one thing:

Feelings play a big part when we paint a picture in our minds of who we are. Smart people can feel stupid.

Thin people can feel fat. Youthful people can feel old. Talented people can feel like losers.

Like being “Stupid,” for instance. Have you ever pointed at yourself in the mirror critically, thinking to yourself: “You make mistakes. You are stupid. You ought to feel ashamed of yourself!”

I was out with a guy not long ago who, after striking out with a woman, would come back to my table and repeat over-and-over “Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!”

Chastising himself for doing something dumb because the girl he talked to didn’t automatically want to sleep with him.

In his mind, he did something wrong, something STUPID, and he had to punish himself for doing such a dumb thing like TALKING TO A GIRL.

As you can imagine, this poor guy hates talking to women.

A personal favorite myth of mine is the Fat myth – probably because that’s one of the big myths that I buy into.

When I look into the mirror, my eyes instantly go to my gut, and my mind is forever poking at my fat, real or imagined.

I know other men are the same way, especially when we see and compare ourselves to models and athletes on TV with the six-pack abs and 3% body fat.

When you are stuck in an overweight mind and/or body you cannot escape from, you start to feel sorry for yourself and ashamed because you think you are inferior to others who are thin and muscular.

After all, how can you expect to compete with those guys?

The Myth of being Old will tell you only what you cannot do. It defines your limitations and lost opportunities.

Old men look at beautiful young woman and think to themselves “It’s too late. I’ve have missed out. I blew it. She will never go for a guy as old as me. I can’t keep up.”

Old men feel they will never fulfill their potential, because they have lost their youth. They use this as an excuse to keep from trying.

They don’t want to go to a bar or a club, they don’t want to stay out late, they don’t think they know anything about the dating scene.

They see their age as a cage from which they cannot escape. They just can’t do everything they want to do.

After all, you’re not as young as you used to be.

The Ugly Myth reminds you that you are forever handicapped. You are just another victim of other people’s apparent disapproval, and you act and feel like an outsider.

You exclude yourself, never bothering to pursue a pretty girl because you don’t believe anyone could ever find you attractive, and if they do, there must be something wrong with them (because who could be attracted to one so ugly? They must be lying!!!).

You’re envious of those you see as more attractive, and you are always angry and feel sorry for yourself because you are constantly comparing yourself to them.

You see them as being blessed while you’re cursed, and you resent them for their good fortune.

Don’t be afraid to touch women you’re talking to in order to help strengthen the comfort and connection you’re building with her.

Subtly touching her on the forearm or shoulder when you start to tell her something new can do wonders.

If she starts to touch you back, she is signaling that she feels comfortable enough to invade your personal space.

Depending on where you touch a woman, she’s going to signal how comfortable she is with you.

Typically, the hand, wrist, forearms, shoulders, and knee are the “low risk” zones. They’re areas of a woman’s body you can touch to initiate contact with her.

The next step up from that is the elbow, the waist, the thighs, the hips, and the back.

This is slightly more intrusive and requires greater comfort on the woman’s part to allow you to touch there without her retreating.

Finally, there’s the face, neck, inner thigh, and chest area. You can only successfully touch a woman in these areas if she is completely comfortable with you.

 Typically, if you notice you can touch these areas without the girl retreating or reacting badly, she is ready to be kissed.b if you’re deft enough to pay attention to them.

I’m going to share some secrets about eye contact with you that is going to help you meet women like crazy.

I hope you’re ready for them, because I’m really spilling the beans here.

Are you ready for it?

Here they come…

Secret #1: The Vertical Scan

This is a major body language cue, and one that is hard to pick up if you’re not paying attention. Think about a woman you’ve seen that you found attractive.

 What did you do? Catch one look at her face, then looked down over her body, going from head to foot, right?

Secret #2: The Horizontal Scan

you’re in the home stretch!

This usually occurs after you’ve been talking to the girl for a while, you’ve successfully attracted her, and it’s time to kiss.

When you look deep into her eyes, you’ll see them flicking back and forth as she looks from one eye of yours to the other, trying to get a read on you.

When you see this happen, go for the kiss right there! She’s ready for it!

Secret #3: Dilated Pupils

I’ve mentioned this one before, but I’ll reiterate it here. A woman’s dilated pupils is an unconscious attraction response. The wider the pupils, the more attracted and excited the woman is getting.

You’ll know what you’re doing is working when you look into a woman’s eyes and notice the black iris part is rather large.

This is commonly referred to as the “Doggy Dinner Look,” that you’ll see in cartoons when a dog is silently begging for it’s master to feed it Secret #4: The Eye Contact Test

I think you’re really going to like this secret, because I’m going to share a little trick with you that I’ve developed that really makes it easy to meet a woman.

Too often, guys are simply too nervous to approach a girl because of the extreme amount of uncertainty involved. Think about it. What runs through your head when you want to meet a woman?

• “Am I her type?”

• “Does she have a boyfriend?”

• “Will she find me attractive?”

• “Maybe she’s too busy to meet anyone.”

• “Will she be receptive to me talking to her?”

I’m sure you can think of a 100 more things that run through your mind when you see an approach opportunity come your way.

The next time you go out, do this to every woman you see. Lock your eyes onto them and see what happens. I guarantee you, you’ll be surprised by the results.

Conversational Dominance: The Art of Talking to Women

Establishing rapport with beautiful women is such a difficult task for most men. In fact, many modern men today tend to invest their time reading printed magazines that teach them how to small talk with girls.

However, (in all fairness) there are also few modern males who have the confidence to approach and engage women into a short but highly- motivating chitchat. Nonetheless, this is not a usual thing.

In this matter, let me tell you few secrets on captivating women and tempting them to spill the beans in a short chitchat.

What do you think are some of the faults that men do in talking to girls?

Isn’t it ironic when you finally find out that the thing that you thought to be the best part of the conversation turns out to be a sole reason of your failure?

There are some people who invest too much of their time in trying to look “cool” to a woman. But, in spite of their diligence to do so, they end up being tedious and unappealing.

These people ought to learn the techniques on how to be humorous even in a very short talk with women. Some people usually get trapped at a “friendly” stage. In this manner, the latter need to comprehend how to tell when there is “too much” rapport going on.

Attraction is a controlling act between “tension” and “comfort.” Thus, these individuals basically feel the rage of tension in approaching pretty women. Therefore, they just prefer to be Mr. Congeniality with thinking that women will like them if they act so.

These folks do not have any idea on how to small talk with girls. They don’t even know what to say. Therefore, there is a call to learn on how to identify these sharp “claws” that a lady is giving him.

Lure Women Using Body Language

Whenever a woman says something, it is the best spot to respond it in a very decent and motivating way.

One of the greatest challenges that most men must overcome is to make the conversation well- streaming. Thus, no humorous man can do it in the absence of wit.

Be smart. Be spontaneous. Be a man of intelligence and humor. That’s the secret.

Whip out in order to keep the conversation streaming and exciting. A conversation should be like a rollercoaster wherein a woman is left with no chance to know what will happen next.

Moreover, do you have any idea on how to avoid uncomfortable silences?

The simplest way to get rid of clumsiness is to acknowledge it in a comical way. By contacting out the “giant in the room” and by saying what you’re both thinking, it shows that you are brilliant. And, social wit is extremely impressive for a lady.

More explicitly, it will basically lead to the attempt of giving her a hug or even a kiss (which is a better idea). Be confident. Be cool. Mock or tease her, if possible. However, never overdo these stuffs. It will surely make her feel that you are just fooling around with her. This kind of comical reaction will put you both back at convenience.

Women worry awkwardness more than men. So, by showing the woman that you have a high social value, you become a lot better in her sight.

What are some of the essential principles and methods in flirting sexy girls?

Show her that you have the confidence to talk to her with confidence. Be self- assured, casual, and comfortable when standing in front of a wonderful lady.

To be able to get you to that feeling, you are going to learn few significant aspects. These are almost certainly things that you’ve never heard before. This is because most of the “gurus” prefer to avoid the subject regarding the “small talk” stuffs.

At this juncture, allow me to show you how to “steer” conversation along.

How to identify the “hooks” that a lady is giving you? You need to understand how to “bait” a lady into asking things you want to talk about. You also need to comprehend how to endow “sexuality” into a conversation.

Ultimately, you can have the chance to engage a woman into an amazing discussion. However, if you do not get her thinking about you in a “sexy” way, it will be difficult to bring the relationship to the next level.

Now, there are a ton of strategies that you are going to understand to become a better speaker. However, more important than the methods, a “specific” routine is a must.

The old saying is “Actions Speak Louder Then Words,” and nothing could be more true.

If you can learn how to read what a woman’s body tells you, you will always know which women are interested and open to your advances, and which women you’re wasting your time with.

These body language cues are what I like to call “Approach Invitations.”

They’re gestures that signal a willingness and openness to talk to you.

They can also be strong indicators of attraction, so keep your eyes open for them, you’ll know what you’re doing is working!

Basically, approach invitations are the same for both sexes (after all, we’re more alike than we sometimes like to give ourselves credit for!), but here’s a short list of common Approach Invitations to be on the lookout for:

• Touching the hair

• Smoothing the clothing

• One or both hands on hips

• Foot and body pointing towards you

• Extended intimate gaze

• Increasing eye contact

Interest And Attraction

Another big thing to note is that excited interest and attraction causes pupil dilation and a flushed appearance in the cheeks, so when talking to a woman, always note what her eyes are doing.

The more the pupils are dilated, the more attraction she is experiencing! Pupil dilation is always a big indicator of interest because women have ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL over it!

It’s an unconscious bodily response to stimuli that they can’t control. Now, keep in mind, if it’s dark or she’s under the influence of drugs, her pupils will naturally dilate.

But all things being equal, this is a great sign to look for. We’ll go more into pupil dilation later on.

Another big sign is the Head Toss. This is when the head is flicked to toss her hair back over her shoulders or away from her face.

You’ve seen this type of action in pretty much every shampoo commercial ever made.

The funny thing is, even women with short hair do this! So keep an eye out for the tried and true head toss.

Another sign of attraction is when a woman exposes her wrists to you. A woman will gradually expose the soft, smooth skin of her wrists towards men she is attracted to.

Why this is, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because the skin around the wrists is thin and therefore highly erotic and sensitive.

This also exposes the palms of the hands, which is an “accepting” gesture, like she’s offering you to take her by the hand and lead her into the bedroom.

You’ll often see this signal with woman who smoke. Watch their wrists. If they expose their wrists to you while she’s holding her cigarette, she’s telling you something!

This next one should be pretty obvious. OPEN LEGS! If a woman’s legs are open towards you, guess what – that’s a pretty big “GO” signal.

Now, don’t expect a woman to go full spread-eagle on you when giving you this signal. Usually it’s very subtle, like if she uncrosses her legs to expose a slight gap.

Look at a woman’s hips when she walks as well. The hips naturally have an accentuated roll to them when walking.

This is nature’s way of highlighting a woman’s pelvic region. If a woman is walking with an obvious roll of the hips, she’s signaling something to every man in eyeshot – she’s looking for a guy to sweep her off her feet!

The sideways glance is another fantastic approach invitation. Its kind-of like a “peek-a-boo” motion.

This is when a woman will hold a man’s gaze just long enough for him to notice, then looks away.

 This is a typical flirting look, and she may do it numerous times, as if she’s seeing if you’re going to come talk to her or not.

Watch out for the sideways glance that occurs over a raised shoulder! When she’s almost turning around to face you, that’s a sure sign she wants to talk to you!!!

Pay close attention to a woman’s mouth, and you will get a good idea if she’s open to your advances. A slightly open mouth with wet, glistening lips is a definite sign a woman is open to being approached.

It gives off a distinct sexual invitation. Pay attention to whether or not a woman licks her lips while taking to you, and you’ll know she’s getting aroused.

Look at what her hands are doing as well. Women who fondle cylindrical objects, such as cigarettes, fingers, drinking glasses, and a number of other thin objects, are signaling an unconscious indication of what they may have in mind.

Remember the golden rule of picking up women: PAY ATTENTION! Keep your eyes peeled for the gestures and signals women who are open to meeting you give off. It will make your job a million times easier!

There’s a secret many people might not know about approaching.  It’s a secret so few people know about, because so few people do it.

But once you know this secret, your ability to meet any woman, any time, anywhere you may want will literally skyrocket!

This was a secret that was hidden from me for many, many years, and it was not until someone shared it with me that I was able to have the kind of successful interactions with women that I’ve always dreamed of.

So you wanna know what it is?  It’s pretty simple.  In fact, it’s so simple that you may in fact KICK yourself for not knowing it already.  So you ready for it?  Okay, hold on, because here it comes:

Approaching groups of people is easier than approaching people who are by themselves!  Is your mind blown yet? I know mine was when I was first told this.  It seems unnatural you would THINK that a group would be harder to approach then someone who’s by themselves.

However, this is not the case.  The reason for this is that old maxim – There’s safety in numbers.

When people are by themselves, their guards are up. They feel more vulnerable, and so are more resistant to people outside their established social circles.

But when they are already IN those social circles, they feel safe, and their guard actually goes down, making them MORE open to meeting people outside their already established friends.

So if you know how to approach groups of people, your success with interacting with women will increase exponentially.

Group approaches are especially important to know in Bars, Clubs, and Parties. In these venues, people tend to go out with their friends looking to have a good time. You will very rarely find a girl in these places who is by herself.

So if you hope to be successful in these social venues, you MUST know how to approach groups of people (and when I say groups of PEOPLE, that’s what I mean. These groups can be either all women, or women and men).

Group Theory

The basics of Group Approaching is very simple. There are two categories of people in every group:

1. Your target

2. Your obstacles

Your target is, of course, the person you wish to get alone eventually so you can begin forming a relationship with them. Your obstacles are anyone in the group who could keep you from doing that.

The first thing to keep in mind once you have determined who your target is and who your obstacles are is this:

You never approach your target first! If you have a group of two people, this is the easiest. You simply Open the person who is not your target.

But when you get groups of three or more people, things get a little more complicated. Which obstacle do you Open?

The truth is, you can Open any obstacle you want.  But the most effective way to Open the group is to approach the “leader” of the group first.

In every group, there is usually someone who takes charge and leads the group in its decision making. You can always tell who the leader is because it’s usually one of two kinds of people:

1. A very assertive and outgoing woman

2. A guy

For instance, if you see two girls walking through a club, and they’re holding hands as they make their way through the crowd, the girl taking the lead will be the leader.

By contrast, in a group of three or more women, the one talking the most or the loudest is usually the leader.

In groups with men in them, they are, by default, the “leaders,” simply by contrast between the sexes. In this case, you don’t have to figure out who the most “Alpha” of the guys are and open him first, the opening of any guy in the group will do.

If your target is the leader of your group, don’t open her right away. Open one of your obstacles and let the leader engage you, then turn your attention to her.

The reason you want to try and Open the leader of a group is because the Leader is your biggest obstacle.

If they decide the group should do something else other than talk to you, the group is going to do that and your conversation is going to die a quick and painful death.

Once you have Opened the leader, make an attempt to engage each one of the other obstacles in the group. Tell the group a funny story, show them you’re a cool guy, entertain them, befriend them.

Once the group accepts you, turn your attention to your target.

You want to get to your target last, because not only will that deter any notion that you’re overtly interested in them, but once the group accepts you, your target will be forced to accept you without resistance, because you already won over her peer group.

It’s always been my belief that “Inner Game” is the most vital aspect of not only meeting and enjoying women, but living an affluent and satisfying life.

What is this “Inner Game” that so many people seem apt to talk about and converse at length, but which seems to elude everybody?

I look at Inner Game as a kind of internal frame of mind and belief system which affects your actions, thoughts, and speech. Everything you are stems from this set of beliefs.

These beliefs are created at an early age, influenced by parents, siblings, friends, and life experiences.

But we also have a say in how we choose to process these influences, and that determines how we play the game of life from within these little vehicles we call our “bodies.”

We even give a name to try and encapsulate all that Inner Game is meant to cover: Confidence!

But that only creates more confusion, because now we have one word that defines many different beliefs (all of which vary from person to person).

Everyone tries to “be confident” on order to try and define what these beliefs are for them. Some people try “faking it until they make it.” Others ignore it and try to make due with what they have. Still others stay stuck, and never truly discover what confidence is.

And confidence is never more obvious than when it comes to dealing with women.

Too often, men get their sense of confidence from the validation of women who tell them they’re good looking, or smart, or talented, or prove it to them by sleeping with them.

Why Men Crave For Sex

Maybe that’s why me crave sex, because once the act of sex is over, that validation quickly fades into memory and we go about looking for our next fix.

Confident people don’t need sex. In fact, they are often willing to walk away from it. They distance themselves from people they don’t like, and they are unafraid to take risks. Why is this?

I believe it is because confident people supply their own sense of validation. They don’t need others to feel good about themselves.

They have such an amazing set of beliefs and see the world from such a position of strength and security that they aren’t afraid to lose something they want in order to have something they feel they deserve: Self Validation.

But it’s not the people with confidence this section is meant to address, since people who have confidence have very little problems in getting what they want.

No, I mean to address people who DON’T have confidence. People who have yet to strengthen their “inner game.”

Let’s take one of these guys as an example. Let’s say JoeBlow is an unconfident guy who’s lonely. He doesn’t have a girlfriend, or any girl “friends,” and few guy friends for that matter.

He hardly ever leaves his house, except maybe to go to work, and he spends most of his time surfing the internet looking for a way to fix his life, which he feels is the most pathetic thing on the planet.

Then, one day, through some stroke of luck where the Gods smiled upon him, he meets a girl and she agrees to get together with him again (like, on a date! Gasp!)

So JoeBlow is keyed up, but fearful as well. He believes that it was a complete fluke that this sexy girl would agree to date him, and he doubts his luck would hold out for long.

So he apprehensively tries to figure out what to do with this girl now that he’s got her. He wants to please her, he wants to keep her, but most of all he wants one thing and one thing only – to stop feeling so anxious.

Instantaneously, every possible worst-case scenario runs through his head. What if she doesn’t like the restaurant?

What if she calls and cancels? What if everything goes great and he’s so nervous that he’s lousy in bed? No matter what, she’s going to discover what a big LOSER he is.

The Importance Of Confidence

Be aware of this little fact: Confidence is based on how you see the world around you.

People damage their potential for confidence by acting like psychic mind readers. They construct a skewed view of the world based on their assumed notion of what others think and feel.

Magical predictions about failure confirm the way you are used to feeling about yourself. When men generate so much shame about anticipated failure and supposed subsequent rejection, their sexual arousal quickly fades.

They stop having fun. They set a down-tone for any interaction they have. They think they will fail, and will be rejected by the woman they so desperately want to impress.

So many guys are genuinely thinking about every woman’s likely response (after all, us men are problem solvers by nature, and tend to look at every possibility). But the cold, hard truth is that we are only thinking of ourselves!

We trust our immature, shame-based, self-critical feelings, and then believe our awkward predictions are really going to happen!

Our suspicion and mistrust has nothing to do with each other and everything to do with our own utter lack of confidence.

Your facade is part of your Body Language.

Not the appearance you’re born with, however, but the way you shape how you look.

It is through how you rearrange your appearance that you transmit your sexuality to others.

When you see a gorgeous woman with an average or below-average guy, and you ask her why she finds him attractive, she may say something along the lines of “I don’t know.

It’s just something about him that he has… like an energy or an aura.”

Actually, it’s nothing of the sort. In part, it’s how a man dresses that communicates certain things to a woman:

The type of shirt you wear, the pants you put on, the jackets and ties you don, your hairstyle, the way you shape your facial hair if you have any, the length of your sideburns, your tan, the whiteness of your teeth – all these factors add to the immediate image people get of you when they first see you.

But even more important than these things is how you stand and how you walk.
When you move, move with grace.

I’m not talking about a ballerina type of grace here, but rather an “arrogant” sort of grace that will garner attention.
In fact, you can directly translate arrogant grace into “macho swagger.”

Think of the way Russell Crow, Bruce Willis, Brad Pitt, and Mel Gibson walk, and you’ll get an idea of what this is. Its standing straight, shoulders slightly back (not hunched over), walking and moving with an easy confidence that’s sure to get people’s attention.

Keep your hands out of your pockets. When you put hands in your pockets, you look like you have something to hide. By the same token, don’t cross your arms. Crossed arms make you look guarded and stand-offish.

If you’re looking for something to do with your hands, lock your thumbs in your belt above your pants pockets, with your fingers pointing down to your crotch.

If you lean up against a wall or a bar, thrust your hips forward slightly (not too much, remember to be subtle!). This is a stance meant to communicate male sexuality.

You may think this is funny, me giving you advice witch is basically the equivalent of “Point to your dick!!!!”But look at the psychology behind it.

How many times have you seen this type of pose on TV or in the movies? Not by the hero, of course, but by the sexy bad boys that women so often swoon for?

When the bad boys do it, it signals to everyone who sees them “I’m a sexual threat. I am a dangerous man for a woman to want to be with. I am a man and I make no apologies for what I want!”

On a smaller scale, this is exactly what you are communicating as well. But in the bigger picture, your goal should be to cultivate an aura of sexuality that will fascinate the available women around you.

Approaching Women

Don’t be afraid to take up space. Especially if you’re in a crowded area. You can communicate this in how you stand and how you sit. Stand straight up, shoulders back, legs shoulder-length apart, and hold your ground.

Don’t let others crowd you. Too often, men will shrink their personal bubble in crowded areas so as not to touch others.

Don’t do this. Make physical contact with those around you and take up space. This communicates a type of dominance to others, when they see others giving you the space you want.

When you sit, lounge. Be comfortable. Sling your arm around the back of the chair. Expose your crotch. Lean back.

Show you’re at home with where you are. (Note: This doesn’t mean you have to sit like this constantly. Just communicate that you’re comfortable).

Part of doing this is learning how to read a woman’s body language as well as projecting yours. Learn to size up the women around you and figure out who’s interested.

Catching Her Attention

Look at the way they stand or sit. Make your choice and catch her eye. If she’s interested, you’ll see her respond to you in some fashion. If she doesn’t, you might want to consider moving on to a different target.

Be aware of how her body responds to you while you’re talking. Are her arms clasped defensively? Open your arms up in response. Is her posture stiff and rigid?

Relax your body as you talk to her. Is her face drawn tight? Smile at her and relax your look.

A lot of people get really caught up in the inner game and they ignore the aspect that you have to be a fascinating communicator.

If you are mas­culine, fun, and confident but you’re not attention-grabbing, guess what?

It’s not going to work, because what you’re saying is not going to keep their attention long enough for them to notice the charac­teristics.

How can you be appealing? Number one, humor: You have to be funny.

I wish that this wasn’t true cause it makes it seem like I have an unnatural advantage, which I do but that’s alright; I’m not 6’ 5” so I’ll trade, if anyone wants to trade. So, you have to be funny.

There’s no one I’ve ever met who was good with girls that wasn’t funny. It’s just a part of how it works.

How can you become funny? Here’s a couple suggestions: First just start trying to make jokes, and I don’t mean like knock-knock jokes, but trying to point out things you think are funny.

I do this all the time, sometimes it hits, sometimes it doesn’t, but if you keep trying to make jokes you’ll get a better feel for humor. The second thing I recommend is improv class, because improv class makes you think on your feet.

It gets you used to trying to make people laugh in outrageous situations. It makes you a little bit better at performing in front of an audience.

It really has a huge amount of benefits and I always recommend this but students rarely ever take it. So don’t be the guy that ignores good advice; take the improv class.

Another thing that can help is watching professional comedians. You can actually steal professional comedians’ bits if they’re not very famed, and use them in set.

Using Humor To Entice Women

I did that for a while, because you get a sense of the pacing. Humor often comes from misdirection and unexpected things. The unexpected is often very humorous. Going too far is often very humorous.

Humor will generally come from a superior or inferior position. The humor you want to use with women should come from a superior position rather than an inferior position, but that doesn’t mean you should never make h of yourself.

I make fun of myself a fair amount because once you get to a cer­tain level where women get that other girls like you, you need to show that you’re sort of humble.

So, in the beginning don’t make fun of yourself but as you get better and better you can use some self deprecating humor.

I used to have a pink Mohawk and one of my favorite thing to say to girls back then was “What? Whatever. I have a pink Mohawk, what the hell do I know? Why are you even listening to me?” I focused on a bad characteristic. I still do that at this point.

Now my new favorite thing to do is make fun of girls for liking me once it’s on. I say, “Oh, you know, you just fucked yourself.

You like me. You made a horrible decision here; this is not going to end well for you. Ugh, I feel bad for you. I’m gonna ruin you for all other men; this is horrible. You should re­ally run away”

 Another interesting tactic is Role playing. Role playing is a great, fun little tactic. Role playing is just a made up scenario. Why? Because it’s emotional stimulation.

It allows a girl to get outside of the bar and club world. Not only that but allows you to play. It also gives you distance and objectivity. It allows you to do a whole bunch of attractive behaviors, from going sexual to dis­qualifying yourself.

A great source for role playing is fairy tales. Sometimes I’ll just go out nights and I know I’ll need to do role playing, and I’ll say, “You know what? I’m going to take you to a witch and she’s going to put a spell over you where you have to go to sleep for a hundred years, and then you’ll let down your hair and I’ll climb up and rescue you with a soft kiss.

Then we’ll have to escape the dragons,” It can be anything, it doesn’t matter what you’re doing.

You can role play about taking her on a romantic date; you can role play about her being your girlfriend for the next five minutes. You can role play about dressing up her and her girlfriend in different costumes.

Doing this takes you out of the normal guy stereotype and puts you into a space of being fun and interesting. It’s something that doesn’t happen a lot to her.