How To Approach A Woman And Start A Cool Conversation

Learning how to approach women the right way is an essential skill. Most guys, when they see a hot girl they want to talk to, “freeze up” and don’t take action because they aren’t sure that to say.

Or, they’ve got one “opening line” that they rehearse in their head, and pray that when they use it, women will somehow feel attracted to them. Well, you’re going to have to get a bit more creative if you’re going to learn how to approach women successfully.

One effective way to approach a woman is to make an observation about her, and then use this to transition to a conversation topic that is going to “hook” her interest.

Think of topics that women naturally enjoy talking about. I’ll give you two: fashion, and cheating. Women can talk about style and fashion all day, and they also love discussing cheating, relationships, and topics of that nature.

Here are two examples of openers & transitions that I use when I’m at bars and nightclubs:

How To Approach Women, Example #1:

“Hey, that’s a cool pair of shoes. I’m curious where you got them, because my friend Jessica’s birthday is tomorrow and I’m trying to figure out a cool gift…” (Instead of her shoes, you might mention her purse, jeans, a piece of jewelry, or even a tattoo. Anything that catches your eye.)

How To Approach Women, Example #2:

“I just want to tell you, you’ve got a really positive energy about you. It’s nice to see that, because there are a lot of uptight people here tonight trying to ACT cool…you can tell by their body language, y’know?”

Then I’ll point out someone in the room who looks insecure, or goofy, and we’ll have a laugh…and then I’ll transition onto the topic of cheating, which seems to always get women talking and sharing…

“Anyway, I’ve been trying to find some fun people to introduce my buddy Mike to – he just went through a bad breakup, and I forced him to come out tonight so he could get his ex-girlfriend off his mind.  You’re never going to guess why she dumped him…”

(Naturally, the girl is going to want to know why, so I continue…)

“Well, she was at his house the other day and she needed to use his computer…and when she got on it, Mike was still logged into his email account so she went ahead and read through all of his emails! She saw that he’d been keeping in touch with a girl he used to date…but there’s just friends now, it’s really no big deal…but Mike’s girlfriend really flipped out. Tell me, honestly, if you were going out with a guy and you could sneak into his email account and read his emails, would you do it? Or is that a violation of privacy?”

Try this one. It works! This topic can lead you down all sorts of intersting “conversational pathways” – you can talk about loyalty, commitment, the importance of trust in a relationship…and this enables you to plant “seeds” in her mind about your own positive, attractive qualities.

These methods of approaching women are also highly effective because you’re going “under her radar”: you are not approaching her the way most guys do, which is to say they “hit on women” by making their interest totally obvious. By using these tactics, you’ll be able to approach women and start conversations in a way that feels casual, natural and friendly. From that point, it’s all about knowing how to manage the conversation and guide it towards the outcome you want!