First Date Advice For Guys

by Dean Cortez

Hey, Dean Cortez here with some solid first date advice that will make an AWESOME impression on a woman. Let me start by sharing an email that I received from one of our readers…

* * * * * Hey Dean and Carlos,

I recently decided to finally break up with my (now ex) girlfriend. She’d been controlling and manipulating me for the past four years. Anyway, I’m back on the dating scene now and excited about the possibilities.

I met a REALLY smoking hot girl at my gym and asked her out. But I’ll admit, I’m rusty with the “first date” stuff, I’ve been off the scene for a long time. And I want to make sure this date is perfect — with a girl this hot, I won’t get a second chance if I don’t make the right impression. Do you have any first date advice that will help me close the deal?

- Eric, New York City

* * * * * In order to pull off the ultimate first date, create a deep attraction, and hopefully steer things back to your place, you’re going to have to use the right methods and conversation strategies. These are explained in detail in our book, The Alpha Rules.

But for starters, here is some first date advice to always remember:

* Keep your spending to a minimum. With first dates, never try to impress her by shelling out the bucks. This puts you in the wrong position. Maintain the attitude that this is her chance to sell herself to YOU, not the other way around. Meet her for coffee (not at a Starbucks — find a cool, out-of-the-way, comfortable coffee shop for dates). Or, meet her for drinks. Skip the places that everyone knows, and find “date locations” that will show her you’re an original type of guy who knows the cool “off the radar” spots.

BONUS TIP: Make her feel extra special by saying to her, “This is one of my favorite places. I think of it as my private sanctuary, I never bring anyone here. But I thought you’d enjoy it so I wanted to show it to you.”

* Have a backup plan. The place you’ve selected could be closed for renovations, her ex-boyfriend might work there, who knows. Have a second location ready to take her to at a moment’s notice. The Alpha Man is a man of action, and always has a complete plan.

* Plan on keeping the date brief. For a first meeting, 1-2 hours is usually perfect. You want an escape hatch in case she doesn’t meet your standards. (Never plan some all-day activity with a girl until you’re certain you want to spend that much time with her.)

Also, unless you’re confident that you can take her home at the end of the night, it’s better to cut things short and create the sense that your time is precious and limited. You should be the one to decide when the date ends. (“Well I’ve got a huge day tomorrow, I need to be up bright and early…we’ll have to do this again soon.”) Don’t stretch things out so that she’s the one checking her watch and telling you she needs to get home.

End the date on a high point, before things start winding down, and plan on sealing the deal the next time you see her. As the greatest entertainers in showbiz know, you’ve always got to “leave ‘em wanting more.”

* Always be punctual. Forget about being “fashionably late”: it’s disrespectful and sets a bad tone. Make sure you know the directions to the location, and arrive 10 minutes early so that you’re totally prepared.

* Dress appropriately. It’s always better to be a little overdressed than under dressed. You can be sure she’s going to dress well for the date. She’ll feel uncomfortable if you roll in wearing a tee-shirt and shorts.

* Let her do most of the talking. Ask questions that prompt her to open up and share with you. Again, maintain the attitude that this is her chance to impress YOU. It’s better to be vague and cultivate a sense of mystery around yourself, than to tell her your life story within the first two hours.

Keep the spotlight on her. The more details she shares with you, and the more you seem to appreciate what she’s saying, the more it feels to her like a connection is building. This elevates you beyond the average guy, who treats every first date as if he’s auditioning for the position of her boyfriend, and feels he needs to “sell himself” by talking himself up.

Those are some quick bits of first date advice that will put you on the right track. Mastering the art of “date conversation” is the other big piece of the puzzle — the Alpha Rules book is chock full of techniques and strategies on this.

Why leave ANYTHING to chance? You only get one chance to make the right first impression. Let The Alpha Rules be your guide, and instead of ducking your phone calls in the future, she’ll be eager to see you again.

Your Wingman,

Dean Cortez